The restlessness answered...my story part 2

The restless feeling I was coping with wasn’t new. It had cropped up periodically throughout my life. Most of the time, I’d find some way to satisfy it and it would disappear. But not this time. Nope. It was time to deal with it once and for all.

The question was one that had haunted me since I was very young – do I have a vocation to the religious life? Dozens of different people had asked me a million times over the years whether I’d ever considered it. And the truth was that I had, but I had also always found a reason why I didn’t – or rather couldn’t – feel called to that life. I’d also never felt strongly attracted to a particular community or ministry.

Until one day about three years ago. One of the priests for whom I worked pulled me aside and said he had a personal question to ask me. He’d been watching me work that day – taking photos at the diaconate ordination of one of the members of the order – and a question struck him. He asked me whether I’d ever considered a religious vocation. He continued by naming two communities in which he thought I might fit well.

For those few moments, time stood still. I knew this was more than just a casual question because there was no way this priest could have known about my wrestling match with that question.

Later that week, I received a brochure in the mail about the IHMs; the sender was an IHM who was friends with this priest. He had asked her to send me some information.

The rest, as they say, is history. I looked up the IHMs online and perused their website. I liked the fact that much of their spirituality is rooted in the example of St. Alphonsus Liguori, who founded the Redemptorist order in 1732. Having worked for that order for the last four years, I’d come to know a lot about St. Alphonsus.

I visited the sisters for the first time for a discernment retreat at their motherhouse in March 2011. I was immediately struck by their hospitality, but most of all by their joy and their “realness.” These were real people who were dedicating their lives to proclaiming the Gospel, and not just to those they served but to each other. There was a tremendous respect for each and every person as an individual, and for the gifts and talents they brought with them to the community. They laughed and joked around. They prayed and ate together as a community. And they genuinely enjoyed the time spent together.

I visited on and off for much of the next year, and finally in April 2012, asked if I could apply to join. I had wrestled with that decision for months, but finally, and very simply, came to the conclusion that I had found the answer to the restlessness.

Applying is a long process that involves a lot of paperwork and evaluation on several levels. In addition to getting checked out by all your doctors, you need an autobiographical statement, school transcripts going back to high school, background checks, more than half a dozen character references, a financial statement, and intensive clinical psychological evaluation.

I began the application process on September 15, 2012, and was accepted into postulancy on April 18, 2013. And I’m happy to report that the restlessness is still gone….